Good thing America is such a fair and prosperous place!

Those bloody Europeans, with their 'socialism' and high taxes. It's just terrible how successful rich people have to pay more taxes than struggling poor folk. And don't get me started on all that 'accessible health care for all' nonsense! Why should rich, healthy people be responsible for the health of the masses who can't afford the exorbitant costs of a private health care system designed to make a profit rather than provide actual health care? That's not what Jesus would want, I can tell you that! I mean, you would never see a story like this in Europe- no siree bob, this is a good old traditional American story! So all you liberal elitists, with your fancy book-learnin' and marrying outside your family can just take your 'safety nets' and 'social support services' and stick them up Lenin's arse. But don't you dare take my guns with you!